City lights, a single's frights, and forgiving Lori Gottlieb

To say that I've shed a tear or two in my life is a bit of an understatement.

In the privacy of my home, my eyes have been known to spill water like Niagara Falls.

But in public places, generally speaking, my pride keeps the flood gates shut.

This explains the grudge I've held against the Atlantic Monthly since last March, when it published an article that made me cry on a YMCA treadmill.

And on the elliptical machine.

And the on the gym floor as I forced myself through multiple sets of sit-ups.

Oh, how I wish the article was about abandoned Iraqi orphans or the war-torn region of Darfur. But nope, not even close. It was about...

(cringe)

...husband hunting.

The article, called "Marry Him! The case for settling for Mr. Good Enough," argues that single women approaching 30 should abandon the quest for true love and hurry up and tie the knot with the most decent, amenable guy around.

In one of many disturbing passages, author Lori Gottlieb writes:

I don’t mean to say that settling is ideal. I’m simply saying that it might have gotten an undeservedly bad rap. As the only single woman in my son’s mommy-and-me group, I used to listen each week to a litany of unrelenting complaints about people’s husbands and feel pretty good about my decision to hold out for the right guy, only to realize that these women wouldn’t trade places with me for a second, no matter how dull their marriages might be or how desperately they might long for a different husband. They, like me, would rather feel alone in a marriage than actually be alone, because they, like me, realize that marriage ultimately isn’t about cosmic connection—it’s about how having a teammate, even if he’s not the love of your life, is better than not having one at all.

But fear not, single women friends!

Well, at least if you're an urban dweller.

According to a study cited in a recent article in New York magazine, you don't need a husband or a significant other to keep loneliness at bay.

You just need lots of friends. And, ideally, a decent-sized city to find them in.

Take that, Lori!