I made my first foray into column writing today, and the results were mixed: while the women in the newsroom gave me kudos, the men in the newsroom told me that the column's premise (that women and men can be platonic friends) and the conclusion (that those friendships can endure after one friend marries) were total sh@$#%@.
I remain a true believer in the premise. As for the conclusion, well, I'll take a leap of faith.
DC friends: Please excuse my hyperbole. Tribes can last forever, in one form or another. Also, Josef would like me to clarify that he only once agonized over the title on his business cards.
Fort Wayne friends: I understand you may have missed this column in print, having mistaken my photo for one of a bloated chipmunk. Forgiven. Whatever you do, just please don’t tell me it looks like me.
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5 comments:
whoa, josef is getting married?
kidding, i know, it's only a few dates :-) but seriously i knew nothing about this. i miss our urban tribe meet-ups. it's time for you to move back to dc!
I like the piece on platonic friends. I have two thoughts: I think that the existence of a platonic friendship that has been formed (for example, between a heterosexual male and a heterosexual female) before the start of a new relationship is healthy and comfortable. However, I have to admit that I would personally feel uncomfortable if my boyfriend formed a platonic friendship, of which I was not a part, with another woman now. If I were also involved in the friendship and spent time with this woman and my boyfriend in group settings, though, I would feel completely comfortable. This leads me to my next comment: I think that as people grow older and begin to possibly enter committed, long-term relationships, the "Urban Tribe" can simply grow to include the existing friends as well as the new partners of those friends. For those members of the "Tribe" who have not partnered-up but want to, this is actually a great way to meet someone. The new, and even old, members of the "Tribe" usually have single friends who could later be initiated and paired with those single "Tribe" members, but only if such single members wish to be paired. After all, the purpose of the "Tribe" is for support, and one's ties to the "Tribe" could be purely platonic.
LOVED the article. (and fully support your conclusion!)
Yeah, our secretary pointed something out to me yesterday, which was that girls can have platonic friendships with married/otherwise taken guys as long as they get "the rules." And I think most girls get the rules instinctively... and the number one rule is that I must do anything possible to get the new girlfriend to really like me. 8>)
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